


You're Everything A Big Bad Wolf Could Want

by Adventures_in_Writing, AgentBuzzkill, beacandy, radvsblue



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Little Red Riding Hood, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fractured Fairy Tale, M/M, Red vs Blue Shipping Jamboree, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2890406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adventures_in_Writing/pseuds/Adventures_in_Writing, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentBuzzkill/pseuds/AgentBuzzkill, https://archiveofourown.org/users/beacandy/pseuds/beacandy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/radvsblue/pseuds/radvsblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Theta has trouble sleeping, he asks North to read him a bedtime story. He's heard this one many times before, and he loves it, but he asks if North could tell it differently, because even bad wolves can be good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Everything A Big Bad Wolf Could Want

**Author's Note:**

> Team Medic's entry for the RvB Shipping Jamboree's Collaboration. adventures_in_writing wrote the North&Theta bit, beacandy and agentbuzzkill helped with brainstorming, and I wrote the Little Red riding Hood part.
> 
> Title is from Amanda Seyfriend's Little Red Riding Hood, and there's another reference to the song in the summary. It's really good! I recommend!

Theta often had trouble sleeping. Usually he was quiet in his room, counting sheep on skateboards kickflipping over obstacles but sometimes he needed a little bit of help drifting off to dreamland.

North was sitting in the lounge room wrapped in a blanket, one of his favourite novels in hand as he sipped at a warm cup of chocolate; nothing was better in the wintertime. He could hear Theta’s soft footsteps as he made his way down the hall. North looked up just as Theta peered into the room, a blanket wrapped around his small shoulders.

“Hey, kiddo. Can’t sleep?”

Theta shook his head and North smiled softly.

“Do you want to help me make you some warm spiced milk before we read some stories?”

“Okay.”

Theta sat on the kitchen bench watching North as he warmed some milk on the stove. He held his favourite cup in his hands — a gift from Delta for his birthday — as he patiently waited for North to finish warming the milk through.

“Did you have a bad dream?” North asked.

“No,” Theta said as he set his cup down on the bench. The milk was almost ready. “I just couldn’t sleep. Sometimes I think too much.”

“I know what you mean, kiddo.” North smiled as he added in the cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and a touch of honey to sweeten the drink. He stirred the milk well before pouring it into the green mug Theta had chosen.

“Careful now, it’s quite warm.”

“I know.” Theta chirped, hopping down from the bench.

With care, he picked up the mug and made his way back to the lounge room, following after North slowly so he didn’t spill warm milk on the floor or himself.

Theta put the mug of spiced milk down onto the table before curling up on the lounge, getting comfy. Once had had settled, North made sure he was covered by the blanket before handing the cup of milk to Theta so he could sip at it whilst he listened to North reading the book.

“What story would you like to hear this time?” North asked as he made his way over to the bookshelf.

Theta had probably read the books on the shelf twice on his own and then had heard them another few times when he had a restless night. He knew most of them back to front, but he liked spending time with North. It was fun and North was nice and made him smile.

“Can we read the fairytale one? That’s my favourite.”

North chuckled as he pulled out a well-worn book. “I think we’ll have to buy you a new fairytale book soon. This one is going to fall to pieces.”

“I don’t mind.”

He took a seat beside Theta, so he could snuggle up against him as he read and cleared his throat as he opened the book.

“Ahem. The first story of our book is the tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big-Bad-Wolf.”

“Not all wolves are bad,” Theta said. “That’s just being mean.”

Oh. So it was going to be one of those story sessions then. Theta was exceptionally smart for his age and whilst he came across as childish, his intelligence would often blow people away.

“Do you think the title should be ‘Little Red Riding Hood and the Not-Scary-At-All-But-Actually-Very-Nice Wolf’?

Theta nodded.

“Well, that’s the story we’ll read then. One day, Little Red Riding Hood was baking treats...”

=/=/=

"Grif!" Donut shrieks, having come into the kitchen to find one of his housemates eating the donuts he'd made earlier. "Simmons! Control your boyfriend!"

"What!?" Simmons yells back. Donut hears something drop and hopes that it's not his favorite lamp that lights the end of the hall. "He's not my boyfriend!"

"Control him anyway!" Donut screams, Grif not having stopped despite the noise. Donut makes a frustrated noise and stomps towards the other man, slapping his hand away from the sweets and trying to push him away.

"Stop! You know these are for Sarge!"

Grif shrugs and sucks the powdered sugar from his fingers as Simmons comes running into the room. Donut notes that his face is flushed and chooses to think that it's from his earlier comment, not from rushing down the hall.

"Grif, how about you come... help me clean? And we let Donut finish up?"

"I thought you were going to visit Sarge with Donut, though?"

"Grif. I really think you should come help me clean."

"...Oh. Yeah, I can do that."

Donut rolls his eyes as the two leave, packing the doughnuts back into the basket he'd prepared for Sarge and Lopez. Really, how stupid did they think he was? Not boyfriends. Ha!

He finishes packing up and grabs his lightish red cloak, not wanting to get too chilly while he's out.

"I'm leaving now! Don't have too much fun while I'm gone, you two!"

=/=/=

"Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost."

Donut sighs and turns slowly in circles, trying to find something that looks familiar. If only he hadn't been thinking about the plot for the next chapter in his Harry Potter fanfiction. He wouldn't have strayed from the path then, but he had been getting so bored and needed something to do!

With another heavy sigh, Donut sets the basket down on the ground and checks the pockets in his jeans for his phone. Then, the pocket on the inside of his clock. Um, sweater pocket? He curses quietly, looking around again, desperate. It was starting to get dark, making it even more difficult to see if he recognized his surroundings.

A howl in the distance has Donut freezing in place for a second or two before he abandons his search for familiar landmarks and instead looks for something big to defend himself. He finds a heavy branch and pushes his basket to the crook of his elbow to make wielding it easier on him.

It doesn't take long for it to get even darker, Donut hardly able to see after just a few minutes where nothing came out to attack him, and it's starting to get colder and colder as well. Donut tries his best to stay where he is, not wanting to get even more lost, or attacked by something, but the cold was starting to really get to him, making holding the branch difficulty. He sighs, cursing himself for getting lost, cursing himself for forgetting his phone, cursing himself for not making Simmons come with him, and starts walking again to keep warm, hoping that his luck will turn around and he'll stumble across Sarge's home.

Donut figures he must have been walking for another hour or so when he stops, too cold to keep going. He sits underneath a tree, curling up with his legs underneath him and holding the ends of his cloak closed. He shuts his eyes, telling himself that he'll just rest for a minute and then he really needs to keep going, but when he opens his eyes again he can't help but feel that more time had passed than he'd meant to.

He sighs, stretches, and moves to stand up, reaching for the branch as he does. A growl stops him and he looks up to find a shadow a little ways from him, blue eyes eerily visible in the darkness.

Stillness. Neither the creature nor Donut move, and the chilly wind doesn't seem to move either. Slowly, Donut continues reaching for his branch and watches the creatures eyes track his movements. Once his fingers brush it, the growling starts again, but Donut decides that really, there's no way out of this anyway, and quickly grabs the branch anyway, holding it up in front of his body to protect himself.

The creature rushes forward and Donut screams, closing his eyes and waving the branch around, hoping it helps even a little. When nothing happens, Donut opens his eyes and sees the creature, who has moved closer and Donut now realizes is a very large wolf, watching his branch as he continues waving it back and forth. He hears a thump thump thump and wonders if it's his heart briefly before realizing that it's the wolfs tail making that sound where it hits the ground.

Donut continues to lazily wave the stick back and forth while he thinks, the wolf appeased for now. He has an idea, but is scared to try it because it could either work, or leave him with no way to defend himself.

"Um... do you want the stick?" he asks the wolf, feeling stupid as he starts waving it around more enthusiastically. The wolf stands, it's tail wagging faster now. "You want the stick? Who wants the stick? You want the stick!"

Donut laughs a little as the wolf acts more like a dog than a predator, jumping to try to take the stick from him only for Donut to hold it higher and barking in a way that Donut thinks is playful. Not wanting to risk it any longer, Donut uses all his power into throwing the branch, thanking his naturally good arm and daily gardening sessions for how far it looks like its going to go, and yells fetch. The wolf barks again and rushes off. Donut doesn't waste too long being glad that that worked before running off to put as much distance between himself and the wolf as he can.

Of course, four legs are faster than two. Donut knew this, but it still surprises him when just a few minutes later he's jumped and brought to the ground, the wind knocked out of him. A heavy weight drops on his back and Donut can hear the wolf panting above him. Once he's caught his breath, Donut slowly turns around, moving the branch off of him as much as he thinks the wolf will let him get away with.

The wolf is standing above him, tongue out, almost drooling on him. He barks once Donut has finished turning, now flat on his back instead of his front, and suddenly there's a disgusting, wet heat on Donut's cheeks and chin as the wolf licks his face.

“Ew, gross! I mean, I've had worse, but this is disgusting!” he says to the wolf, trying to push against his muzzle to get him to stop, but the wolf only pushes back against his hands and licks them too.

Donut quickly finds out that resistance only makes it worse and instead tries petting the wolf as a distraction. It takes a while, but Donut doesn't stop because it feels nice and he's missed petting a dog, Grif being allergic so he and Simmons can't get one. The wolf does stop and lies on Donut to get more comfortable, his tail wagging happily and hitting Donut's calf's.

“You're not so bad. You're just a big fluffy puppy, aren't you?” Donut coos, scratching behind the wolfs who huffs quietly in response.

The wolf eventually falls asleep and Donut isn't far behind, the weight and warmth of the creature on top of him enough for his body to ignore the cold, hard ground beneath him.

=/=/=

Donut wakes to light and frost. He shivers and curls up to try to keep warm, rubbing his hands together and breathing on them. He's cold all over, with the exception of his back, and he finds out a moment later why when two more hands join his to try to warm his freezing fingers. He looks over his shoulder and sees a man – a very naked man – is sat next to him.

“Okay, so,” Donut starts, teeth chattering. “This isn't my first time waking up outside with a naked man next to me, but I'm not naked and I know that there was no drinking last night, so who are you and what are you doing here?”

The man smiles and he is adorable. Donut can't help but smile back, feeling safe with the other man despite not knowing him and him being naked.

“My name is Michael! You played fetch with me last night and I stayed to keep you warm and now I am continuing to do so.”

“Wait, what?” Donut asks, needing a moment to register what the man just said. “I- I played fetch with a wolf last night? And you're, you know, not a wolf?”

“Of course I am, don't be ridiculous,” he rolls his eyes, but his smile never falters and Donut is starting to worry a little. “It is daytime now, but I am still a wolf. It's just inside now.”

“Inside,” Donut repeats. He thinks for a moment, exhales a slow breath, and sits up. “Okay, well, thank you for helping me keep warm, but I really need to find my way.”

“You are lost?”

Donut stands and looks around for his basket, finding it a few feet a way. “Yes, I strayed from the path.”

“I can help!”

Donut turns back to say no to Michael and finds himself eye to chest with him. Startled, he takes a step back and lets out a noise of alarm, not having heard Michael get up or come towards him.

“Uh, no, that's fine. I'm sure I can make it on my own.”

“Are you sure? I am great with directions!”

Donut nods to show that he's listening and does his best to not look down. That would be impolite, after all! But he can't deny that he's curious. Michael lifts his chin and seems to sniff the air, half turning towards his right and then his left. He points behind himself and a little to the left.

“You came from the path that way that leads to Mr. Sargeant's house. Is that where you're headed?”

“Wait, you know Sarge?” Donut asks, choosing to ignore how Michael could have known where he had been and where he was headed. Michael nods, still smiling. “Well... alright, I guess you can help me. But, please, put this on.” Donut unfastens his clock and holds it out for the other man to take.

“But you will get cold,” he says, instead of taking it. His smile is gone and he looks concerned.

“Well, so will you!” Donut insists. Michael shakes his head, taking the cloak and putting it back around Donut's shoulders.

“I told you, I have a wolf inside. I will be warm, do not worry.”

Donut sighs, but doesn't push it anymore. He follows Michael as he begins to lead the way back to the path.

“You are lucky that I found you! The woods can be very dangerous at night and you could have gotten hurt, but I will not let you get hurt and now we will be best friends and I can show you this really cool tree I found the other day, and my cave, and we can go hunting together, or maybe just I will because hunting can be dangerous and I do not want you to get hurt, but we can eat together because that is what best friends do and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Donut says, putting a hand on Michael's shoulder and slowing down, glad that Michael takes the hint and matches his pace. “Slow down, okay? I mean, I barely even know you. Sure, that hasn't stopped me from hanging out with naked men in the past, but this is a little different.”

“You do not want to be my best friend.”

Michael has stopped and he looks hurt. Donut immediately feels bad.

“Oh, hey, I didn't say that. But that's, you know, something people work up to. You don't even know my name, how can we be best friends?”

Michael seems to think for a minute, reflecting on Donut's words, then he asks for his name.

“Franklin, but you can call me Frankie or Donut, if you want.”

“I know your name now, Donut,” Michael says, emphasizing Donut's name as if he has to prove it, “does this mean we can be best friends now?”

“How about we see how this walk goes and talk about it later?”

“Okay!”

Silence. Donut wonders if Michael misunderstood and thinks that they can't talk at all now so he tries to come up with a topic of conversation.

"So, Michael," Donut starts, after way too many minutes of quiet that he felt were definitely awkward. "What were you doing out here?"

"Last night?"

"Last night."

"Running."

Donut waits for him to continue, but Michael seems content to leave it at that. Donut worries that he's offended the other, or something, for not agreeing to be his best friend since he'd been so talkative earlier but now it was a struggle to keep the conversation going with him.

"Do you come here often?"

Donut snorts and starts laughing, having to stop after a few steps because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt himself. He thinks Michael looks confused, but he's not really looking at him to make sure. He starts to wind down after a minute or two of solid laughing and starts walking again, motioning for Michael to keep going, while he completely settles.

"I'm sorry," he says, "I just wasn't expecting that."

"Wasn't expecting what?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Donut smiles, hoping things will be better with Michael and himself now. "I try to make this trip every couple of months. Sarge says we should stay away, but I worry about him."

Michael nods and tells Donut that he comes out at least once a month, but often makes it out more times than that, even though it's different.

"Different how?"

"Well, the wolf stays on the inside those times."

"Right, the wolf," Donut replies, still unsure what to make of that.

"It only happens when the moon is really happy."

"And when is that?"

"When it is round," he holds up his hands, forming a circle with them as he speaks, "and bright. It makes the woods silver. Except for last night, because the clouds were black. I think that they were angry because the moon did not make them silver too, so they blocked it to try to be silver and steal from the woods."

"So, the full moon?" Donuts asks and Michael nods. "What, like, a werewolf, or something?"

"Yes! That is the word that Mr. Sargeant uses! I could not remember it."

"Oh."

That would make sense, Donut supposes. If werewolves existed. He still has trouble believing it, but he supposes that he can't deny that the wolf he met last night reminded him of Michael.

"That's pretty cool, Michael. Only full moons? Not whenever you like, like in Twilight?"

"What is a twilight."

"Nevermind."

Light conversation continues as they walk through the woods, just talking about this and that, nothing really specific. Michael points out trees that he likes and Donut tells him about some of the plants growing around them. Eventually, they arrive at Sarge's house, Donut instantly recognizing it by the Grif standees in the front and side yard that are full of holes from Sarge's shotgun. Donut thanks Michael and expects him to leave to go off doing his own thing, but he says you're welcome with a smile and follows Donut up to the door.

Sarge doesn't seem surprised to see Michael there, eyes already fixed to be looking up at him and asking where his clothes are, inviting him in to borrow some when Michael says that he ripped them by accident. Once Sarge has opened the door more for Michael to come through, he notices Donut and it's then that he looks surprised, but only for a moment before he's inviting Donut in as well.

“What brings ya out here, son?”

“It's been so long since we've seen you, Sarge! I thought you must be lonely with only Lopez for company, but I guess you also have Michael. Also, I brought some gifts!”

“Michael?” Sarge questions, looking at Donut as if he's grown a second head. “Who in sam hell is Michael?”

“Uh-”

“I am Michael, Mr. Sargeant, remember? My name is Michael Jay Caboose!”

“Right, right, of course, I knew that, Caboose.”

“Um,” Donut starts, thankful that he doesn't need to come up with a response when Lopez emerges from the kitchen to inspect what's going on.

“Oh, es sólo usted. Qué estás haciendo aquí?”

“Hi, Lopez! It's great to see you too!"

Donut and Lopez keep talking, Lopez mostly only saying one word at a time, and Sarge leads Michael to his bedroom, presumably to get him some clothes to borrow. Donut wonders how long they've known each other as he starts taking his gifts out of the basket, giving the oil, apron that he so lovingly crafted, and wrench that Simmons borrowed to Lopez and setting the doughnuts, ammo, shotgun polish, and picture of Simmons onto the coffee table in Sarge's living room for when he returned with Michael.

Donut sits with Lopez and tells him all about how he got lost while he waits, Sarge and Michael joining them a few minutes later once he's finished describing his new idea for his Harry Potter fanfiction to Lopez. Michael is now wearing clothes and Donut is pleased to have the opportunity to get a proper look at the guy without feeling weird. He's wearing a red t-shirt that's just a little too short for him and too tight across his shoulders, complaining that the red is 'too hot, do you have any blue, Mr. Sargeant?' and sweat pants that just barely reach mid calf.

Donut realizes that Michael is attractive. He'd known that he was at least a little attracted to Michael before, but he'd been doing his best to just look at the guys face and didn't think that he would be as attractive all over.

"Are you okay?" Michael asks and Donut realizes that he had zoned out because he doesn't remember Michael getting up or coming towards him. He sits on the floor by Donuts feet, despite Lopez having got up at some point and leaving the other spot on the couch free.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." He notices that Michael is still barefoot and finds that endearing. "I should probably get back. Grif and Simmons will be worried about me. Maybe."

Michael nods, stands, and goes back over to Sarge to give him a hug. Donut decides not to mention how friendly the two are to Simmons when he gets back and tells his housemates all about this.

"I am ready to go now, so I can take you back so that you do not get lost again."

"You really don't have to, you've already done so much for me."

"I want to!"

Donut sighs and shakes his head, telling Michael that if he really wants to he can walk with him again. Michael's smile grows and he jumps over the coffee table to give Donut a hug.

"Before you boys leave, could I talk to you for a minute, Donut?"

"Oh," Donut pulls away from Michael's embrace to look around him at Sarge. "Uh, sure?"

Michael lets go of him and leaves to wait by the door.

“What is it, sir?”

“Caboose is a good kid. I like to think of him like a son. Or a grandson, maybe,” Sarge says, Donut again reminding himself not to tell Simmons about this. “Now, this isn’t to say that you’re not a good kid, too, but you can take care of yourself better than he can. I saw the way you were lookin’ at him, and I just want to say that if you hurt him in any way, I will find out. I know where you live, private.”

“Yes, sir!” Donut says, automatically replying in the way Sarge has asked them all to despite he being the only one with a military background. Donut worries about him. Maybe he should try to get Sarge out of the house with his next visit. “But, uh, I hardly know him, honestly, and I don’t think anything is going to happen.”

“A warning is a warning. Take it to heart. Now get out of here.”

“Yes, sir!”

Donut leaves the room and finds Michael still waiting for him by the door. He smiles and Michael smiles back. Donut is immediately reminded of Sarge’s words when he feels the faintest of butterflies in his stomach. Donut peeks his head into the kitchen, says goodbye to Lopez, and then leaves with Michael.

=/=/=

The walk back is quiet, with very little conversation between the two. It doesn’t feel awkward like it did before, but Donut can’t help but feel bad when he doesn’t respond as enthusiastically to a story Michael is telling as the other man seems to want him to. He just can’t stop thinking about what Sarge said, and now he feels that it’s ruining the friendship that he and Michael had started to build.

Michael doesn’t stay in the woods when they reach the border between them and civilization. Instead, he holds his head a bit higher and continues to walk with Donut the couple blocks to his house.

“This is where you live,” Michael says when they’re standing in the driveaway.

“Yup,” Donut replies, his smile only semi forced. “Thanks for helping me out back there, I really appreciate it.”

“You are welcome, Frankie.” It’s silly, but Michael using his first name has Donut blushing, his neck and cheeks growing warmer and warmer still with the embarrassment that comes from being affected by his name. Michael doesn’t say anything about it and Donut is grateful.

“Um, well, I should probably go in,” Donut says, only mumbling a little bit as he starts shuffling towards the door.

“Will I see you again?”

Donut sighs and turns around, a small smile forming on his lips as he nods.

“Sure, buddy. Whenever you want.”

=/=/=

Michael shows up the next day and asks Donut if he’d like to go for another walk with him. Donut finds himself saying yes, even though he’d sort of been meaning to distance himself from Michael.

He continues to spend time with Michael, however, and finds himself once again in the woods during the full moon a month later. He learns then that Michael hadn’t been lying, and really was a werewolf. They kiss for the first time the next day, and continue to go on walks together, now holding hands, for many years following that.

And they all lived happily ever after.

=/=/=

North closed the book gently and looked down at Theta who had been struggling to stay awake through the last fairytale. Smiling softly, North set the book to the side and brushed Theta’s fringe from his eyes. North never would have believed that he would come to love his adopted son so much. People had often said he would make a great father but North had never expected to ever have the opportunity.  

Carefully so as to not wake him, North scooped Theta up in his arms. He mumbled in his sleep, snuggling against North’s chest as he carried the youngster to his bedroom. As he tucked Theta into bed, he sleepily opened his eyes.

“Thank you for the story.”

“Sleep well, kiddo.”

“Love you, North,” Theta mumbled.

“Love you too, Theta,” North said as he closed the door behind him.


End file.
